TWO FISTED HOMEOPAPE November/01 - The zen of the sidehustle.
Or, how I [never] learned to stop worrying and love the bomb [me, I’m the bomb].
♫ I applied for a rescue dog,
But if I get you dog,
You're rescuing me ♫
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2021 -- beyond.
Know your limit.
I think it’s important to know your limit. I also find it a personal hope that I have no limits. These two thoughts occupy probably the same amount of space in my head, and I actively recognise how ludicrous that is. Also: the second thought probably gets a 51% share compared to the other.
This is just one moment of hypocritical dichotomy within me, but it’s indicative of many. I have a belief, but then I also hope to transcend that belief. People should know and respect their limits, but me, ME!, should somehow be good enough to have no limits. That’s the idea.
People should celebrate and salve their weaknesses, and if I had any, I would, too.
It’s stupid. And incredibly difficult to fight. Partly because it’s deeply, deeply ingrained in me. But also because it’s what sometimes yields results. If I ignore and/or push through limits then I get more done. I mean, gobbless the confidence of a middle aged white dude, honestly, but I’ve managed to push through the need to sleep, a fear of failure, a lack of skills, and plenty more to eek out the success I’ve had.
But I’m trying to take stock of what this success means and what limits there might actually be around it all. Like time, and energy, and availability. Then I need to consider what I can control, and I think this comes down to what I need to consider: my focus.
I’ve got a lot on my plate, and I take a silly pride in multitasking, but I don’t know how much joy it’s bringing me anymore. Checking in on five very active comic projects all at the same time right now is somewhat wearing me down. It’s what allows for so many stories to be told, but at what cost?
I love seeing this stuff hit shelves. But the inverse is sitting at my desk and feeling like it’s a mad dash in eleventy directions. I had a thought the other day - imagine having one script in front of you and just working on that, and imagine that being your summer. It was a calming thought.
It’s hard to actualise: sometimes you gotta pitch a dozen before one lands [sometimes that number is far larger]. Doing that is an insane drain.
“Here, lemme completely conjure up a dozen worlds, and within them a dozen+ characters, and give them all lives and purpose and goals, and then craft a story that satisfyingly clicks into place and also might be about something larger.”
It’s a whole mental load. Especially to get invested and then just close the door on that world, probably forever, without ever cathartically finding closure with/in it.
Now, I’m not successful enough I can just: get an idea, work an idea, write an idea, and publish an idea. That’s not my place of process, but maybe there needs to be some acceptance to that, and working within that framework, not always around it.
Because doing the hustle is exhausting, and I’m happy to keep doing it, but I can’t do it blindly as if I have no limits. I need to refocus and consider and plan moving forward because I can’t do something that’s unsustainable.
I think the change of job has got me thinking about this. There is so much to take in and I’m loving it so much that my brain is hyperfocused throughout the work day. The old job I could phone in and still feel amazing, so putting in 80% meant I could really soar, so I was moderating my efforts. This new gig requires more from me, so I’m noticing I’m returning home tired and exhausted on a mental *and* a physical front. I’m happy the days are going that way, I’m really engaged and feel I’m doing good work, but I don’t know how long this state will last, and I need to reflect it in everything around me.
It’s funny that I feel a little burnt out, and I feel like I’m either not making ground or I’m actively losing it, but then I recorded a podcast on the weekend and the host opened up by telling me they were so impressed with my output and that I seem to be going from strength to strength and just continuing, constantly. It’s definitely not how I see it, which is probably why I do a SitRep update in here sometimes, because I need to show myself, and I need to get context and clarity as it will fuel focus.
In my office right now I have 8 active project folders on my desk, and a stack of loose leaf papers for a ninth. In my head, nothing is landing and I’m going nowhere, and a big part of me doesn’t know what to do next.
In reality:
EVERFROST just wrapped, the trade in december
BLACK BEACON just sent #5 to the printer, the trade will be next year
SPEED REPUBLIC is wrapped, will launch in 2022
SHE Vol. 2 has a script with the artist
[THE LADY KUNG FU PROJECT] is seeing art drop weekly from my co-creator and should be on track to launch next year.
My problem is, beyond that, I have nothing lined up. Nothing concrete, so my mind scrambles. But I’m starting to wonder if I need to fight that feeling of unsettled focus as it’s just unhelpful, to most degrees. Unhelpful when it comes to finding any peace and joy in this sidehustle.
There’s a huge amount of dissatisfaction when you pour yourself into a project and it doesn’t get made, so it's hard to write something when it’ll never reach the page. But I’ve also had quite a decent amount of success from writing one-shot and OGN scripts and just eventually finding a way with them. That way might not be ultimate world domination, but it will be stories I still love like STAIN THE SEAS SCARLET and [THE KUNG FU PROJECT].
I need to be able to love every time I sit down to write. I’ve managed this pretty decently in the past decade, and I’d like to keep that. But if things change - day job, energy levels, success options, whatever - I need to be able to still enjoy the office time and the worlds I build.
To do this, I’m going to look at the projects I have on my slate moving forward, and consider how everything Jenga’s in together and find a nice sweet spot of clarity and joy and take it from there.
I think that’ll work. I guess the first step is taking that first damn step.
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EVERFROST tpb in One Month!
The final hurdle, the last step, the big conclusion to years of a creative project. This is always a huge moment for me, because it’s when I really pack everything away for good. It’s the last way people can take in this insane story we made, and I continue to hope they love it.
For those needing a tip in the right direction, here are some reviews and quotes you might appreciate:
Comic Crusaders gave us a 10/10
And the book has a Foreword by Lonnie Nadler, which I wrote about here!
I hope if you’re planning on getting this that you have your preorder on. I hope some of you plan on buying it as a gift. I hope you all dig it come early december!
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PERHAPS YOU'D CARE TO SAMPLE
GORILLA MY DREAMS back on Kickstarter - I love this comic series from Big Tim Stiles, and his Kickstarter campaigns are always A+, so make sure you dive straight into this one. It’s already all funded, but there are stretch goals aplenty to unlock.
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GRIST FOR THE MILL
BASKETFUL OF HEADS - I love Joe Hill and yet I still haven’t sampled all of his Hill House books from DC. I kind of let them all slide past me, thinking I’d get to them in trade, but also because not every title sounded up my alley. PLUNGE was intriguing, and I got it, devoured it, and loved it. But I’ll admit that this title just didn’t reach out to me. In retrospect, I didn’t really know what it was about - a basket full of heads, some kind of axe, and I think I thought it was some kind of slasher flick of the more modern variety. But, I WAS SO WRONG!
This comic is amazing, and for many reasons. It’s set in the 80s, and as such feels like an old Creepshow adjacent story. It’s about a young girl going to see her boyfriend as he ends his summer job on an island and that’s when the power cuts out and some escaped criminals go on the loose. When she is attacked by one she defends herself with an axe that’s on display in the house, and upon beheading the attacker discovers that his head comes off but it does not die. So she’s got this talking head, who is freaking out, and she’s determined to go rescue her boyfriend who they have abducted. Along the way, you guessed it, she decapitates more fools.
It’s a brilliantly stupid premise, executed with the exact perfect tone and I was riveted the entire time. Mostly because Leomacs art is really expressive and fun - something the very scratchy gothic covers didn’t prepare me for. I really enjoyed this comic, so if you’ve been on the fence, or you just didn’t know what the hell it was, then please take my recommendation to go out and enjoy it because it was 100% made to be enjoyed.
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Be one of the good guys, because there's way too many of the bad.
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POST CREDITS SEQUENCE
I need to come up with more stupid ideas.
Stupid ideas are fun. My past is littered with stupid ideas that I loved because they were executed well, or with heart.
I need to let myself really branch out into the absurd. It’ll be fun.
This thought brought to you because I was talking about THE TOXIC AVENGER with a mate, and that movie is gonzo enough, but then I thought about the fact it spawned a kids cartoon show [HOW? WHY? WHAT?] and also the fact James Gunn came through the Troma house and has ended up at the pinnacle of being able to use his stupid ideas: superhero movies.
Proof that along you the way, you just gotta embrace what you do and what you got and have fun with it.